My Own Worst Enemy

*I want to believe

but find it hard to surrender

to be in the family

but not like the others

I stand as my own

and not with the world

it seems so routine

for a spontaneous girl

yet even through those thoughts

these scream even louder

where am I?

who am I?

why am I here?

*I want to laugh

without all the shame

a thing felt unfair

while others face pain

we have such convenience

but feel all put out

I want to feel poverty

but long for more wealth

and even through those thoughts

these scream even louder

why me before others?

when did that come routine?

me be a god?

by what reasoning?

*I want to live

with no need to fit in

I want to hand all

only over to Him

but still in my heart

I go searching for more

empty fulfillment

now more lost than before

acceptance, I fight it

but instead draw it closer

converting my enemy into my brother

still through those thoughts

these scream even louder

what's this I search for?

a cure for such heartache?

is it worth my pursuing?

or have I started too late?

*I want to look back

without such regrets

but fighting through life

I stop and I rest

looking back where I've been

there's one bold lettered word

"failure" stands out

makes me wonder my worth

now through those thoughts

these scream even louder

can mistakes be erased?

can the glass be unshattered?

what is the process?

wonder, what does it take?

calm my one biggest fear

must I come face to face

with myself?

Thoughts...

                                                ...Sometimes in Life...

It's the small things that mean the most

...Sometimes in Life...

It's the unspoken that speaks the loudest

...Sometimes in Life...

                  It's the giving that brings back the most reward

 ...Sometimes in Life...

We have to feel weak to realize our strength

...Sometimes in Life...

We have to feel pain before we can heal

...Sometimes in Life...

We must have nothing before noticing we have everything...

~Love~

I needed these verses this week...

-The original version of the background picture-

My sister and I had the opportunity to go to Yosemite last summer...

It was absolutely Breathtaking!!!

I loved just getting to spend a day surrounded by such beauty!

Don't forget to slow down and really take in the works of our Creator today!

What an amazing God! :)

Life Lessons With Chester, The Bichon...

                     

                     If at first you don't succeed,

Try,

                                       Try Again!

                                                                                                                      
           
                                                           ;-)

When I Grow Up...I want To Be...A Mom! ;-)

...Cooks, judges, nurses, counselors, nutritionists, life coaches, cheerleaders, teachers,...etc. Put these careers together and what do we get?? A Mom! ;-)

I think we get so used to how our mothers routinely care/have cared for us...that we almost fail to notice all they really have done, what they sacrifice, and how much they give of themselves!

I don't know how they do it!
When I don't get enough sleep at night...well. Can anyone say Oscar the Grouch?! haha
But when I think of all the times my mom willingly lost sleep to stay up with me when I had a sore throat...When I woke her up over a bad dream or thunderstorm...I'm amazed. She was still able to wake up early the next morning, fix breakfast, get us started on our day, and keep a household of 5 up and running... (which is not always an easy task...)

My sisters and I may not have been the poster children for sharing and giving to one another...but we did get into a pretty regular habit of sharing one thing...Sickness! :-p

Mom would not even have to think twice before falling into nurse mode. Making us homemade chicken soup, bringing us plenty of liquids and cozy blankets, singing us to sleep and reading to us...and just helping in anyway she could to make us more comfortable...

(Sometimes I wish I were still 5 whenever I get sick. Minus the stuffy nose...it really was the life. ;-) haha)

Then of course there were those lovely teen years...
I tell you, I pushed my mom to the very edge of her limits. She gave until I'm sure she felt she could give no more...
Looking back, I'm surprised she didn't just put me up for adoption then and there...or send me to boot camp...haha (kidding of course... ;-p )
But somehow, after all I put her through, she still manages to tell me she loves me..

Yes. Mothers are only human...so they are far from perfect. They get tired, frustrated, and stressed...(and with good reason!!)
But when I think of what it means to be a mom..the things I really notice more than anything would be..How they are so selfless, caring, nurturing, and loving...

Moms sacrifice so much of their own needs, time, and sanity to provide for their families. I think we so often take this for granted.

Don't just let Mother's Day be the one day a year you really take time to celebrate and focus on your mom. Make it a regular habit to let her know how much you appreciate her and how thankful you are for all she has done for you! It could be a card, a phone call, meeting her for breakfast, giving her flowers, a simple kind word, etc. Let her know how much all the years, prayers, sweat, and tears she poured into your life means to you!

Thank you for taking the time to truly invest in our lives, Moms!

Happy Mother's Day!

One Small Step Toward Change...

So I have come to find...though facebook is a great way to keep up and in touch with people...it also may not be the wisest way I spend my time. Actually, it makes me quite lazy to be honest.

There always seems to be a list of things I need to accomplish..but don't. Things I probably should already have done around the house..but they still sit and wait. New things I would like to try.. but never seem to get around to doing. This is all about to change! ;-)

I have decided, for the benefit of personal growth and better time management, to go 30 days without facebook. Today is my 5th day. It is going pretty well so far...although by day 4 I realized I should probably cut back on more than just FB. (Why does Hulu have to tempt me by having so many House Hunters episodes on it?! haha)

Today is my first day with an internet limit. (I feel like a little kid..."Only 30 minutes on the computer, Amy. Start the timer...." Yes. There is actually a timer sitting next to me counting the minutes I'm on here... :-p )

Though this may seem kinda silly and small (getting over my little computer "addiction") I'm excited about finding and developing new hobbies and interests in my downtime.

Maybe there is something in your life that you feel could use a change. It may not be anything big.... Sometimes a healthy change in life starts with one small step.

Does anything come to mind?

Maybe...You feel the need to put on the tv right when you get home from work..to de-stress.
What if...You made a nice soothing cup of tea, snuggled into your favorite chair, and picked up that book you keep meaning to read?

Maybe...You always have to start your day with a tall cup of coffee.
What if...You started the day with a healthy and energizing smoothie instead?

Maybe...You just feel like sleeping when there is nothing calling your immediate attention. (Yes, it is possible to sleep Too Much!)
What if...You went outside to get some fresh air and to enjoy all the beauty that waits right outside your front door?

Maybe...You struggle with getting the exercise you need. (Like me..haha)
What if...You parked farther away next time you go to the store...or took the stairs instead of the elevator?

Small changes add up! Just give it a try and see for yourself. I challenge you to pick 1 (Just one!) thing in your life that could stand a little makeover. Then make an effort This Week to take that first step towards change.
"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today" ;-)

- I would Love to hear some of your goals and ideas! Good luck! :)

Starting the week off right :-)