What are some things that come to mind when you hear someone mention eating disorders??
I think some common thoughts may be... Someone who deals with "thin" thinking, starvation, self induced purging, or an obsession with weight. These can all be part of an eating disorder, but they do not even begin to describe what life with one is really like.
When I think of eating disorders I think...Extreme fear of food, overwhelming pain (both emotional and physical), paralyzing fear, unattainable control, perfectionism, low self esteem, depression, even death. Feelings of being worthless, trapped, and without hope are often there as well.
An eating disorder is not simply an issue of dealing with an unhealthy relationship with food or weight. It goes much deeper than that. An eating disorder is not a sickness that stands on its own. It is a symptom of lies we believe. It is a coping mechanism for pain and uncertainty we face in life. There is an unrealistic standard we are living to please.
In an earlier visit with one of my counselors, she told me that she could not work any harder than I was willing to work. In order to get over my eating issues, I had to start dealing with what was causing them. No-one else could do it for me (..as much as I would have loved having that as an option.. ;-) This is one of the first things I think we need to realize to start a full recovery.
Wanting to be somewhere else in life and getting there are two very different things. We are going to have to be willing to put in a lot of work (and tears) to reach our goal of freedom. It can be scary to start dealing with the emotional side of "Ed". It's not always going to be easy..infact painful at times. But it will be totally worth it!
I know right now there may not be an obvious light at the end of the tunnel inspiring us to go on. But it is there! We just have to get up and take those first few steps in faith...believing that someday that light of hope will appear, encouraging us to fight that much harder.
"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop."
I do not want to make this blog's focus to be all "woe is thee who doth suffer from disordered eating". :-p I have been down that road full of self pity and pouting many times. (who am I kidding...I am still on it..oops..) This road has never taken me anywhere worth being in life though.
I want this to be a blog of action and application. That is what will take us over to freedom!
Just remember...
"Anything worth having is worth fighting for"
Are you ready?
