When the struggle with food starts up, I find myself backing away from people. I hate comments like "you're going to have to suck it up and get over it..your thinking is wrong."..."It's just food".."You're being selfish"..."It's just one milkshake...you're not fat, Amy"..etc.
I hate that feeling like I need to put on a happy face and be all bubbly and fun for people. When an eating disorder is taking up most of your energy at the moment...that's the last thing you really want to do.
Sometimes you just need to cry. Sometimes you just want to be held. Sometimes you need someone to speak truth to help fight out all the lies that go along with "Ed". I want to have real friendships. Friendships that one can be open and honest in....to have friends that you can spend your good days AND your bad ones with (without fear of being looked at differently or having them try to fix your problems). I want someone to love me when I'm laughing or when I'm crying...when I'm 120 pounds..or 220....when I'm happy Amy or struggling Amy...
I want someone to believe in me and to fight with me...
It's these feelings that help to inspire and push me on in life..
My life is not my own. I know God has allowed me to go through these things for a reason and that He can use my struggles to help reach out and relate to others. I'm not simply fighting for myself. I'm not just trying to get better so that I can live a free and peachy life..
I want to show people that recovery is really possible. I want to be there for others when they feel those same feelings of being misunderstood or judged. No one should feel like they have to fight alone...
To those that struggle with an eating disorder. To the cutter. To the one possibly thinking of ending your pain....
1. You're not alone
2. I'm not saying this just to say it..I've been where you have been..and There Really Is Hope!
3. I'm SO proud of you for fighting!
4. You are loved Just as you are.
5. You inspire and encourage me to move forward in my own journey...Thank You!
6. You got this! :)
7. I may not know you by name..but I'm praying for you
Let's believe in recovery Together!
Your blog is lovely, and I like the way you have brought in the greenery, representing life. We are all hungry Amy! Our longing for the perfection of heaven is so strong that we strive for perfection here and now, even the perfection of our bodies, which is fruitless while we are on earth. Amy, maybe you have discovered something important; man can not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. He wants to be our portion, and will fill those who hunger for His wisdom, and power, and truth. He promises perfection when we are with Him, and to add to our joy, He Himself will wipe away our tears. Hold on to Truth, the journey is more exciting than you can imagine.
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